


Just Trying Something Out

by betsybo



Category: Father Ted
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Post-Canon, Sexual Content, potential dub con, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 18:38:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13981011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/betsybo/pseuds/betsybo
Summary: Ted throws caution to the wind and makes a move.Based off that outtake of Dermot Morgan jumping Ardal O'Hanlon during a bedroom scene. As far as I'm concerned those guys brought it on themselves.





	Just Trying Something Out

**Author's Note:**

> Please read: the dub con tag is only there because of the whole 'jumping on and kissing someone passionately' is obviously unacceptable without consent, and it's not really discussed beforehand (or is but is misinterpreted by actual cinnamon roll Dougal Mcguire). Thought it would be appropriate to warn, just in case :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I obviously own nothing, and am just playing.

Ted stared, hot under the collar and utterly dumfounded by Dougal. Dougal, who was looking back at him with those big eyes; Dougal, who had a silly little smile pulling at his lips.

 

Dougal, who, unless he was mistaken, had just _flirted back_ at him.

 

‘Oh fuck, I want you!’ Ted announced, throwing himself on top of Dougal, knocking him back onto his bed.

 

Ted groaned in appreciation as their lips met, kissing him with all the pent up frustration and passion that had been building up these last few months. He managed to get a thigh between Dougal’s legs, and felt a definite heat pressing against it, and he thrust lightly back in answer. He was like a madman; breathing in Dougal’s smell and tasting and clutching him tightly. He could feel Dougal’s hands gripping him, and he broke the kiss to nuzzle downwards and have a go on his lovely, soft neck...

 

Dougal went still for a moment, his hands clenching hard on Ted’s sides and then releasing them, and then he flopped back onto the bed before jerking violently.

 

Ted pulled away from him, leaning up on his elbows as he looked down, bewildered. Perhaps Dougal had finished already, he wondered.

 

But Dougal’s eyes were unfocused as he looked about him, and his erection was still pushing against Ted’s hip.

 

‘Dougal?!’ said Ted, suddenly worried.

 

‘Sorry, Ted,’ gasped Dougal. ‘Passed out for a moment there.’

 

Ted’s eyebrows raised.

 

‘Lord, are you all right?’ he said, scrambling off him and helping him to sit up.

 

‘Oh, I’m great,' grunted Dougal, looking about in surprise.

 

Ted rubbed his back soothingly, before recalling a flash of the startled little expression Dougal had had on his face just before he’d landed on him. He withdrew his hand, suddenly feeling awful.

 

‘I’m so sorry, Dougal,’ he said desperately. ‘I really don’t know what came over me.’

 

‘That’s quite all right, Ted!’ said Dougal, his eyes still wide.

 

‘Are you sure?’

 

‘Oh, I’m grand!’

 

‘You _fainted_.’

 

‘Just for a few seconds there.’

 

‘Still, that can’t be good.’

 

‘You just caught me off guard is all.’

 

Ted hid his face in his hands.

 

‘Oh, _God_ ,’ he groaned, voice muffled. ‘I’m so ashamed.’

 

‘Why, Ted?’ asked Dougal.

 

Ted dropped his hands to look at him incredulously, and upon finding Dougal’s dear, earnest face watching him, deflated. Dougal’s hair was still ruffled from where Ted had pressed him back onto the bed; and his lips were still pink and slightly swollen. It hurt to look at him. How could he have done this to him; to _Dougal_ of all people?

 

‘What I just did was completely unacceptable, Dougal,’ said Ted, quietly. ‘I’m so sorry. I thought for a moment, maybe you – But that doesn’t excuse my behaviour. I should have known you wouldn’t like that sort of thing. I’ll... understand if you don’t want me sleeping in here tonight. Or ever again.’

 

‘What sort of thing, Ted?’ asked Dougal, still looking confused as ever.

 

‘ – You know, _kissing;_ kissing with _me_? Those kinds of things.’

 

Dougal went quiet, a small frown on his face as he looked down at his knees.

 

Ted knew it would take him a few moments to soak up his words, and so he carefully stood up, trying to conceal his erection.

 

‘It’s okay, Ted,’ Dougal said finally, from behind him.

 

‘No it’s not,’ said Ted, swallowing, still unable to look at him. ‘I think it’s best if I take my things and sleep in the guest bedroom tonight.’

 

‘Ted?’

 

‘ – Yes?’

 

‘What if I _did_ like that sort of thing?’

 

Ted turned to him then, frowning slightly. Dougal’s eyes were shining, and his cheeks were very pink. It had to be said that he didn’t _look_ upset.

 

‘You... liked it?’ Ted asked, slowly.

 

‘Oh, yes!’ said Dougal, beaming at him. ‘It was lovely. When can we do it again?’

 

Ted stared at him as he continued.

 

‘I mean, I’m not entirely sure what _I_ was supposed to be doing, but I know it was just great.’

 

‘You were _really_ okay with it?’ said Ted surprised.

 

‘Yeah! So can we do it some more, then?

 

Ted blinked at him, and then sighed.

 

‘Oh, well,’ he began awkwardly. ‘The thing is, Dougal, as priests we really shouldn’t be doing that.’

 

Dougal paused, tilting his head in confusion.

 

‘Why’s that then?’ he asked.

 

‘Well, you know that was part of the whole becoming-a-priest-thing? Giving up the pleasures of the flesh and all that?’

 

‘Right, right. But as we’ve already... you know, done _it_ now – surely we might as well carry on?’

 

‘That’s not really – ’ said Ted, before stopping and frowning down at him. ‘Wait, _what_? No, we didn’t have _sex_ , Dougal.’

 

Dougal blushed an even deeper shade of pink.

 

‘Ah now, I think we did a bit, Ted,’ he said through a shy grin.

 

‘Dougal, we just _kissed_.’

 

‘Yeah, and you were on top of me, kissing my neck and moving around all over the place. I really loved that, Ted.’

 

‘Ah, well. See, sex is actually more than a bit of kissing and rolling around.’

 

‘It is?’

 

‘I mean... there are lots of different things you can do, but actual sex is generally a bit more... _more_.’

 

‘More what?’

 

Ted bit his lip, and then sat down on his own bed, opposite Dougal.

 

‘Well, you know, it usually... tends to ultimately... deal with things like that,’ he said, nodding at Dougal’s cock, which was still tenting his pyjama pants.

 

Dougal looked down, and gazed at his crotch for a moment.

 

‘Oh, right, yeah,’ he said softly.

 

‘Still, like I said, we really shouldn’t. It’s not a good idea.’

 

Dougal looked up.

 

‘So, why’d you kiss me then, Ted?’ he asked.

 

‘Because...’ said Ted, flustered, ‘because I wanted to, I suppose.’

 

‘Why did you want to?’

 

‘Because – you’re lovely.’

 

Dougal smiled happily.

 

‘Ah, thanks,’ he said. ‘So are you.’

 

‘You think so?’ said Ted, chuckling.

 

‘I’ve always thought so, Ted.’

 

Ted smiled.

 

‘Well,' he said. ‘Thank you.’

 

‘That’s all right, Ted.’

 

They both went quiet, blushing and grinning stupidly between them whenever they made eye contact.

 

‘So,’ said Ted, clearing his throat after a short while. ‘I think – I mean... We should probably talk about this a bit more, really.’

 

‘About what?’ said Dougal, vaguely.

 

Ted rolled his eyes.

 

‘About... you know, us,' he said. 'If we’re going to be together now, that’s a big change, Dougal.’

 

Dougal just stared at him, so Ted continued.

 

‘Because there are also other things to consider. It will have to remain a secret, for one thing.’

 

‘Oh, like that thing about your accounts, Ted?’

 

‘I didn't- ! That money was – ! _Yes!_ Okay, _yes_.’

 

‘Not really a secret, though, is it?’

 

‘... _No_. I suppose not.’

 

‘But Ted – we’re already together, aren’t we?’

 

Ted didn’t like the anxious look on Dougal’s face just then, and so leaned forward to pat his knee reassuringly. He winced as the action caused his own softening but still-sensitive erection to push against the tightened fabric of his pyjamas.

 

 _‘Yes,’_ he said. ‘But there’s being together and then there's being in a relationship.’

 

‘You mean we’re not in a relationship?’ asked Dougal, still fretting as though his rollerblades had been taken away again.

 

‘No? Well, we could be _now_ , if you want to be.’

 

‘I do, Ted. I really do.’

 

‘Good, then - we are.’

 

‘Great! So... what’s different about being in a relationship to just being together?’

 

‘Well, in a relationship two people tend to kiss – only if they both want to, of course.’

 

‘What else?’

 

‘A couple might do lots of things together. You know; go on holiday, go shopping, make important decisions, take care of each other.’

 

‘That’s just like us, Ted.’

 

‘Well – yes, I suppose it is. Although I don’t know how many important decisions you’ve made, Dougal.’

 

Dougal looked slightly affronted then.

 

‘I decided to watch _Father Ben_ the other day,’ he stated proudly.

 

Ted hummed thoughtfully.

 

‘It’s more decisions that affect both of you – your mutual situation,’ he said.

 

‘Oh, well. _I_ decided to give the house to Niamh Connolly,’ said Dougal.

 

‘Ah, yes. Which is why I will continue to make most of the decisions for the foreseeable future... not before consulting you now though, of course.’

 

‘Fair enough. So we’re a couple now – what shall we do?’

 

‘Oh, well – what would you like to do? We can take things as slowly as you like, you know. There’s no rush. I know – why don’t I get Mrs. Doyle to make us some hot cocoa, and then we can sit up here and have a nice chat?’

 

‘That sounds great Ted. Or, why don’t I lie on my back again, and you can just do whatever it was you were about to do there to me?’

 

‘ – Dougal?’

 

Dougal lay back, opening his legs.

 

‘Go on, Ted, just go mad!’ he said.

 

Ted stared.

 

‘You’re... _sure_ about this?’ he asked.

 

‘Oh, yeah, Ted.’

 

‘Because, you know we don’t have to...’

 

‘ _Please_ , Ted.’

 

Something clicked inside Ted then.

 

‘Come here, you,’ he growled, and launched himself at Dougal for the second time that night.

**Author's Note:**

> Link to the outtake is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JP1kBaDP3Ek
> 
> RIP Dermot Morgan and Frank Kelly, you're both very missed!


End file.
